Posted in Rants with tags , , , , on 13/01/2019 by namaera

I still think about everything I`ve ever done. Like that movie that runs in front of your eyes, just before you die. Only in slow motion, purging through situations that happened, finding solutions for present problems. And sometimes it’s funny how your mind works against you. At least that’s your perception. I need to heal. I need to go through the whole process. The breakdowns are getting farther apart with each passing day. The reconstruction has begun.

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How long

Posted in Rants with tags , , , , , on 17/02/2017 by namaera

We were walking through the dark side of the forest, and, for a moment, a beam of bright light showed us the monsters around us. Whoever we had to fight to get out. Not now. But sometime in the future. The road is already ahead of us. We just need to survive it. And we will. Continue reading

Last cup of sorrow

Posted in Rants with tags , , , , , , , on 25/10/2015 by namaera

This is my truth. Written for myself. The future me. The one who I could`ve been.

The shape of all things is predefined. Just like our lives. Our small, fractured, insignificant lives. Yet, we seem to be full of hope and desire, as the time treacherously passes us. We`re always searching for answers, for life-giving purposes and, at some point in our lives, love. The answers come as they see fit. It`s not our struggle that brings them closer. And some of us don`t need long, time consuming purposes. But we all could use the last one. Continue reading

Seven and One

Posted in Rants with tags , , , , , , , on 01/10/2014 by namaera

Everything became easier. Being by myself, disregarding the little hickups, is refreshing and empowering. I gained a little weight, I started working out to tone myself, I eat well and I even found someone to keep me in place. All the rage gathered for the last months went away, just it was never in me. I am not vengeful anymore. I found peace. And not in myself. But through her eyes.

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Posted in Rants with tags , , , , , , on 18/09/2014 by namaera

While I`m outside, I`m trying to stare right in. Or that`s how it feels. To see through all that bullshit you put up just for me. You`re nothing but a puppet, that changes its mask for the person next to you. You act up about little, insignificant things, yet, when it comes to something life changing, you either run away or ignore it. You don`t see the sparkle in my eye. And that bothers me. Continue reading


Posted in Rants with tags , , , , , on 23/08/2014 by namaera

Every day is a struggle. Not in a common sense, as in a fight for survival, but more like trying to stay sane. Demons run around, and I cannot catch them all. Even if I could, where would I put them all? My own hell has more than enough of its own. I grow tired of carrying this burden by myself. I lift myself up for a day or two, just to fall back down, derailed by the ignorance of others.

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Posted in Rants with tags , , , , on 07/08/2014 by namaera

Why are you fighting your nature? Haven`t you had enough? Have you lost yourself again? If you want to fight something, fight time. Fight people. But do not send yourself on the same path, only to find out the same outcome at its end. All the voices that resonate inside your head are there for a reason. You are not crazy. You just found out the best way to heal your wounds. Your best friends. Your brothers.

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