Fresh new start

It`s been quite a long time since I last wrote a single line. The problem wasn`t the time, which I had enough of, but the lack of confidence. I lost it somewhere along the way. It`s been a year and a half since I was employed. Time is all I had for this period. So many things changed.

First and most important, I`m in a relationship that makes me happy. In every possible way. I am myself, I don`t pretend to be something I`m not, and that is a breath of fresh air. I know there are some years between us, but still, I could care less. It was never an issue for me. Or her, for that matter. I am in love and I enjoy every moment of it. She doesn`t quite know this, but she changed some (bad) parts of me. All for the better. And the best thing is that she stood by me every step of the way. She is my rock of ages. Being unemployed for so long really left a mark on me. But, because of her, I find the strength to carry on. Yes, I am tired of hearing “It will be fine” or “You`ll find a way”, but, in truth, these are the things that make me go on. She trusts me. That`s all I ever wanted.

I`ve been to the capital for 9 months, and found nothing to work (except bars, which I said I won`t go to anymore). But I didn`t stop trying. Promises after promises, friends, relatives and acquaintances, all for nothing. Nobody needs me. Well, I can only try harder. I came back home for the summer, just to find the same old dead city here. Old friends abandoning me, forsaking me. For what? I don`t even know anymore. I got pass that.

I will get my second chance. My fresh new start. There`s a new me out here and I intend to stay for a while longer. I don`t expect everyone to love or at least like me. Now I have all I need. The trust in me I always deserved. The faith I always wanted.

I thank you. I will show you that you were right all along.

I love you, dearly and forever.